Some thoughts on art acedemie

So hey there Happy People,

If you are here to see some creations, I have to disappoint you. Today I just wanted to talk and let my thoughts out for a bit, because I've been thinking a lot lately and why not write it down and may be share it with you.

I've been thinking about this pre-schooling I'm doing. The thing is, I would like to tell all of you that it's going really well and my teacher are really proud of my work, but that's not the truth. 

It's not as dramatic as it may sound though. It's just that what I make doesn't seem to speak to them. And when I get feedback on my work I often don't understand what I exactly did wrong or I just disagree with their criticism (in silence though). I don't think I said this on my blog before but I got T-V for my first rating. It means just below adequate and it sucks to get told you work is not good enough at your first rating.

So I decided to work harder for the second period. I spend more time on my homework and I have to say I worked really hard for last weeks project. I was trying for at least a V-G (between adequate and good). My fellow students were quite impressed by my work. The teacher wasn't though. She didn't say a nice thing about it, she didn't acknowledge  any of the things I had hidden in my drawings. I just didn't seem fair. I worked on it for at least nine hours that week. I cried after I got home...

Basicly she told me I don't have enough segustion in my drawings. I have to say everything is quite clear and she is probably right, but I get a feeling that maybe I don't belong in art school. I want to tell stories with my work and I don't want to be just artistic. 

I'm having my second rating this saturday and I'm really nervous. I want to do well so badly. I just want to show what I'm capable of, but maybe it's just not what they're looking for.

I know that people always tell you to follow your dreams and never give up, but I'm just not sure right now. Maybe this just isn't the right place for me. I mean I'm 16 and those people have a degree and stuff. Who am I to tell them they're wrong.

I will always keep drawing, it's not like I won't enjoy that any more when some artyfarties tell me my work isn't good enough. It just means I should look for something else to study. Which is fine. I just don't know what yet. 

Now that I broke the ice on this topic I'm not afraid to tell you the outcome of my rating. I'll update you than. For now I am just going to try my best at the latest assignment of this period. I still want that V-G :)

Do you have any experience with situations or feelings like this? Let me know in the comments or on social media.

Chrizzl